Article Reports
By Mitchell Philipp
In my senior year of high school, I took a computer science class in which we had to do a monthly assignment of an 'article report'. It had simple requirements: find a technology-related article from the past three months and write a few sentences summarizing the article, and a few sentences of opinion about it. You also had to write a comment on two other people's article reports. The thing is, the interface we used to turn in these article reports actually allowed you to input raw HTML to display the report. Being someone interested in web development, I jumped at the opportunity to use the HTML editor to experiment with the format and appearance of my reports. I shortly realized, however, that the system would remove any scripts or css from the submission when I clicked 'submit'. Fortunately, though, it did not remove any iframes or embedded content from the submission, so I began writing my article reports in HTML and hosting them on a separate server, then just submitting an embedded version of my report.
After experimenting with the format for a few months, I also began experimenting with the content. I started using the 'Opinion' section of my reports to write longer and longer opinions, where I increasingly used satire and humor to liven up the writing. I started using the assignments to explore using different types of tone and content.
While I am no longer in that class, I still sometimes use that format to practice my humorous writing skills and give myself a laugh. I host all of them on this website, so feel free to take a look.
2019
- September
- Seeing Tinder's plans to release a choose-your-own-adventure game to match users, I called on Tinder's executives to pursue the obvious escalation of such technology. Talking points include: determinism, uploaded personality, and the errant farce of choice.
- April
- As my magnum opus to finish out my AP Computer Science class, I wrote an article report that returned to the topic of AI-generated art, exploring what kind of meaning it could carry in the future. Key talking points: the definition of art, pre-post-modern neo-classical pro-aesthetic environmental romanticism, and humanity as god.
- March
- In this article report, I issue a fiery and indignant (satirical) response to Facebook's partial censoring of antivax content on their platform. Talking points include: nanobot thought scanning, invisible black helicopters, and essential oils.
- February
- After the death of the Opportunity, the Mars rover, I bid a fond farewell in this (unusually) solemn article report to everyone's favorite rover, Oppy.
- January
- In this report I discuss the so called, 'World Record Egg', which became the most liked picture on the internet. From there, my report quickly transitioned into a vision of the fall of a utopian society.
2018
- December
- After reading about Amazon's experiments with making their Alexa voice assistant read news in a newscaster voice, I launched this rant about it, involving neural implants, the tooth fairy, and a government conspiracy.
- November
- In response to the FCC's new plans to filter robocallers out of phone networks, I concocted a better plan to deal with them involving the NSA, "Despacito", Finnegan's Wake, and a network of counteroffensive robocallers.
- October
- A report about a poetry AI system placed in London's Trafalgar Square and the future of AI and art. Talking points include: Bill Gates, interpretive dance, a poetic lion.
- September
- An experiment with using CSS animation on element positioning and coloring.